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A Story Of A Big Love

.CZECH version here.

Everything began in a February's day of 1995. That day was celebrated as nameday by all the keepers of the nice female name, which is also the name of the main hero of this story. We made a date with one boy from Liane BBS because we wanted to see one another also in real life. Our programme was to chat about politics and also about one girl from BBS. The same day I also met a guy from our faculty who also offered me to spend the evening in the pub.
We arrived to the pub of Rokoska which was unfortunately full. Everybody agreed with our transfer to Pump, which is a students' pub in the territory of our hostels. We sat in front of a table and started our discussions and drinking. A group of matphys-positive individua also joined our table. They were playing cards, so we added our a bit drunk minds to their game. Have you also played a card game in which you must drink one portion of beer for every card you take, if you take at least two cards?
There are some statistics showing that about 60 per cent of pairs met in a pub for the first time. Maybe, a person is always a bit controlled by the alcohole and one can like another person more easily or fall in love fatally. The story I tell you belongs to average ones in this respect.
Suddenly the fatal moment came: a miracle joined the other group of students by our table. From such a short distance I had never probably seen anything so beautiful. What was happening with my soul is perhaps best documented by the poem few paragraphs below. Frequently wide-spread prejudice about the girls from the Faculty of Mathematics and Physics brought me an erroneous idea that the miracle surely studies different faculty of the university. The reality telling "matphys" was clear more than a week later - so all the time I kept the girl in my mind under a funny (male) nickname "Borik" which she invented for herself in a merry mood of the day number zero.
I saw a being not only pretty but also sympathic. After few words my subconsciousness decided that she is surely not an egoistic girl making all the things in the world for her comfort. And the way in which she believed looked so deep in my eyes that even years seemed to be insufficient to understand it. In any way, I could not think that the God is a kind of drug that she must receive to avoid the teetotallers' symptoms.
When she left the table, I noticed that she is about an inch or two taller than was expected by my phantasy that was working in every moment. (After measurements made later I am only about 1cm taller than her - which means because of my economical and her richer constitution a bit inverse order of weights.) This observation did not annoy me realizing that for example happy marriage of my uncle and auntie is accompanied by the inverse order of heights. And since I was learning every day that she really believed in God, I knew that also she did not consider materialistic characteristics too important.
I missed her on the stairs one day, so I decided that she lived near the 13th floor of A-building. I lived on the 19th floor and used stairs most often. Since that day my ways on the stairs became complicated: during every walk around the 13th or 14th floor I came to the second stairs - and often back in the remaining of the two floors. My effort was successful - about 15% of the cases I met Her. :-)
Once upon a time an important day came. We were sitting in front of the same table during the dinner. That evening I learnt her first name. As we will see in a moment, such an information would be enough. Nevertheless, she also said that her last name agrees with that of a famous artist - and also a street called after him where there is a quite important stop of the Prague public transport. (This agreement was not just an accident since the painter was her relative...) I did not need anything else: in the list of hostels' inhabitants only seven girls with that name were included - and all except of the right one were living far from the room A1422. They were also majoring in other subjects and also, only the right one had a well-known last name...
I invested about an hour to let my heart to write a poem which I inserted under the door of the room A1422 next morning.
Brief contents of the poem "Behind Ujezd"; unfortunately, the rhyme after the translation disappeared: :-)

Passangers in the tram get smile for their faces when well-known tones are sounding in the Hellich street. Gentle artist's hand is painting the ideal in my soul which is nicer than all the words, so I left them away. Where would you search for the beauty which appeared in the dream? At the mat-phys faculty pretty girls did not get green colour. Despite that in the darkest place, in the Pump full of alcohole, more than the beer I was charmed by the girl who joined our table. Just a look of her eyes sufficed for the revolution in my heart. The spark will not jump back but stays in the bit bitter beer. In spite of all of that I want to wish you today, dear Lenka, all the happiness, smile forever and a love which can give you the heat.

Za Újezdem

Cestující v tramvaji
mají úsměv na líci,
když známou znělku zahrají
v Rembrandtově ulici.

Jemná ruka umělcova
v duši kreslí ideál
krásnější než všechna slova,
a tak je nechám opodál.

Kde bys hledal v zemi české
krásku ve snu zjevenou?
Na matfyzu dívky hezké
nedostaly zelenou.

Přesto v místě nejtemnějším,
v Pumpě plné alkoholu,
zmámen víc než pivem zdejším
byl jsem tou, jež sedla k stolu.

Stačil pohled jejích očí
k revoluci v srdci mém,
zpátky jiskra nepřeskočí,
skončí v pivě nahořklém.

Přesto Ti chci, Renčo milá
dnes Ti všeho štěstí popřát,
abys stále úsměv měla,
a lásku, která umí ohřát.

A reaction appeared. During one of the quasiperiodic meetings in the 14th floor I spent about half an hour in the state of meditation on the stairs, after she told me the words "it was very nice..." so gently. And this state of my mind continued more than a year...
I am not afraid to say that those times she was the God for me. So pretty girl is a believer which meant for me that her moral profile is much nicer than that of an atheist. I was convinced that such a deep belief in God which I saw at her brings necessarily her to be ready to help a man, sacrifice her personal interests for something higher, fulfil the promises, that she will be always hearing others' words and looking with help of the God for the best way. That she will follow Jesus and will be always able to revange strikes by goodness.
And, on the opposite side, I was ready to do anything for her, including the most expensive sacrifices.
That time I thought that she would surely not choose the husband according to some plain criteria - if he is rich, beautiful (or tall). Nevertheless, it sounded natural that she would marry a man not only honest, altruistic but with a sensible amount of self-confidence, culturally based and able to think deeply - but also fulfilling the plain "physical" criteria. And I was ready to help to such her future also by beating my deep wishes.
Although her opinion about the modern scientifical picture of the world sounded quite amusing to my ears, I believed to her words to begin studies of physics one day. I saw that she has got enough abilities from the God. And I thought and wanted to think that she felt a need to search for the truth - so she cannot keep for all her life the opinions that e.g. the Earth is a plane, since the Bible is true word by word. Opinions of people which were fighting against Galileo and others.
I "knew" that she would understand also science sometimes - and if she would arrive to other picture than standard science, it would mean also something for me. At school she was classified in the best possible way those times and no obstacle could seem too high.
How could I forget the walks in nature near the college when the weather was so beautiful. And in my memory also her stories about herself and the God will live forever. She wanted so much to be formed by the God, she wished to learn how the God really is and she was always ready to admit that God is different than she thought. It was clear that she could affect me in very many positive ways - and also I felt many things in which I could help her to be perfect.
When I learnt what a hard strike came to her family, the movement in my heart became even stronger. I saw that the history was being written...
/to be continued/

A Story Of A Big Love II.

The spring was beginning. Nightingales and all their other bird colleagues were singing, plants and trees were starting their new life. One sunny day we went to a trip around Vltava and spoke about perhaps all the things in the world. But the main topic was the belief and its relation to the science.
The Queen of my heart (let us call her Renate Rembrandt) lended me books by christian authors and I read each one during one day. I found some cruel misunderstandings to the scientifical method (which was not new for me) but I did not worried about her agreement with them too much. The sources of the love were different than the vision to make an ideal colleague in thinking about nature from her.
In the evening few days later we made a journey through the historical center of Prague in order to have a look at the "Rembrandt" street. As I found soon, "Rembrandt" was really Renate's relative. We started our trip at eight o'clock and returned after midnight. She fascinated me by many interesting statements how she is ready to a virtual situation when she would die, how she would worry about other people at first. Tears visited both her and my eyes if I remember well.
She was an excellent student at school that time, so I was enthusiastic to hear that only two people from her class intended to pass an exam before the exam term, but the second (guy) changed his mind at the last moment... She told me that she spent much of her childhood between boys and for example when she tries to play "paka" (pushing one's hand against other's one) with a boy, it usually ends in a painful situation. I must confirm that, I should give much more effort to beat her than many boys.
But you may ask what was happening on the second side of the string connecting our hearts? Many of the readers expect description of an usual one-sided relation. But it would be a rough oversimplification. Once I was called to the telephone in our computer lab and Renate invited me to her room. She explained me that although she liked me, there could arise between us no relationship usual between girls and boys because I am not a believer from the point of view of hers and her christian community. I being an idealist understood all these words so that she was looking for a honest man which was afraid of disappointing the God. Certainly my interpretation was not such that she only wanted a guy who believes in Jesus and the Saints and all the Prophets and all the stories from Bible about them. I thought that people had went a long journey since the 17th century when the first steps of Galileo's method were done. And if it is not clear to someone, it should be clear to a clever student of the Faculty of Mathematics and Physics of the Charles University at the end of 20th century.
Renate also began to use the advantages of e-mail and we were sending very nice letters to one another and also "SEND command messages" on the Novell Netware. And we also started to call one another by very nice words. The most viable pair of the words was pioneered by Her and it was a very sweet gift for my heart.
I introduced her also to Smolda, who lives with me at one room of the hostels. He declared himself as "her brother" :-) and they became good friends. I felt interest to observe Renate's last works in the school term and I helped her in creating and installing of her first hypertext home page. Making WWW pages became her hobby.
The summer holidays started. Renate went to England for three months and we changed about 8 letters, usually about the christianity. I wanted to send flowers to her (nick)nameday and therefore I was still seeking on IRC someone, using the command /who *.bolton.ac.uk. The most of the chance came from the first guy I met. The other were not awarded by too big amount of willingness. We also phoned one another four times. The reason was her strange need to change a password in Prague (I was in Pilsen). Unfortunately, she confirmed then many times that the reason for such an expensive call really could not be just that she missed me, only that she need something...
I spent a lot of time by reading the Bible and saw first strange features of Renate's belief. In the letters she described her surprise that king Saul was so "bad" that he did not respect the "God's" command from Samuel's mouth to kill every child, man, woman and animal in the neighbouring country of Amalechs. (This nation had made some complications to Jewish people during their exodus.) And she admired David, who could kill the bad king Saul but was waiting till his promoting to king by God.
But I saw the David's history to be very far from us (each man from the triplet Samuel, Saul and David got the same time of 40 years to rule) and present age hopefully cannot show similar questions in which we would disagree with one another.
After the holidays we saw one another almost every day. She heard from me more often how beautiful she was. And we could sit for three hours and just look to her and my eyes... Renate invited once Jaro Krivohlavy to their "hostel christian broadcast company". He is a christian theoretician of partnership and I agree with his opinions. He is an authority for me in many respects and suddenly he called to my room. I made him sure that I was busy enough. And to be sure I left our room. But I realized "am I a coward?" and returned. In a moment Renate and Jaro really arrived. Jaro asked me how he can join chapters of his new book written in a Czech textual editor T602 into one file. (Of course, that was just a pretext. The real reason was Jaro's wish to see the author of the only set of questions which he got before the broadcasting. And which is also possible, the boy described by Renate in motley colours.)
Also a suitable time for realizing Toom's words "you will be a king when you bring her to the BBS" came. In fact it was very easy. Making her leave BBS at 3:30 a.m. was always much harder.
Following week we heard in the christian programme guy called Tomas Frantik. He was explaining to the inteligent students of MFF UK (where about one per cent only declare themself as believers in similar christian direction) that a believer must never find non-believing girl. (That was not a new story for me, I knew that a girl was kicked our from Renate's church because of her wedding with a non-believer. And Renate agreed with such a kick...)
My explanation of my disagreement with such an isolation politics became the pretext of so called "Big Bang". :) Renka refused my usual invitation to our room that day. She said that it was not possible to go on in a similar way - when we looked to the eyes of the other with love and at the same moment we knew that it had no future.
In spite of all of that our situation became better and nearly reached the original position in my 22nd birthday, December 5th, 1995. That day our proceedings in Student senate (SKAS) had more festive athmosphere. Renka arrived there (although about 2 hours later) and (although she had cold) she sang the anthem of SKAS. Due to this fact I won pizza from vitab1 (Liane userid).
(At the first meeting of SKAS where I participated, I was joking and suggested that SKAS should also have its own anthem. Our chairman was also joking and write its composition as my first task in SKAS. Of course, I continued the jokes and using piano I composed both words and music and saved the music to a tape. (The words are available in Czech version of this document only.) Vita Babicky promised me a pizza if I made Renate to sing it at a SKAS session.)
After my return from SKAS about the midnight Renate awaited me in my room. She was nicely and very strongly perfumed and our room as well. She prepared (with a help of Smolda) an amazing big cake. Can you imagine how strong was the flavour of perfumes when they both had cold and used the perfume till they also smell it?
Following days we fed each other by the cake and it was very beautiful.
Also her parfume (Marakesh by Lady Racine) had a magic influence to me. All the holidays I was meeting its flavour somewhere and had to remember her with my soul full of love. How many days I spent just by screaming her name in depths of my mind? The street I went through certainly intended to be called "Borivojova" (the street of her nickname) in order for me to remind her and so on...
How large were the chances of our love these days after the "Big Bang"? One, five or forty per cent? Maybe I will tell you in an unspecified future.
/to be continued...?/



Much effort for Lenka...

Made by LUMO Friday, April 5th, 1996

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